well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
