Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
