I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
