That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
