The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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