32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
