U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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