And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
