He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
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Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
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GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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