I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
