Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he thought i was a dude.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
