Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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