The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
