so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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