this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
