i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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