This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
