I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
