I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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