Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I wear drunk well.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize