The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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