And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
