worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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