there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
