She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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