I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
