Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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