There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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