Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
