there's paper in my vomit.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
