your room smells of hookers.
And success
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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