i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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