eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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