Kiss
Puke
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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