Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
