yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
