Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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