i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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