'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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