I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
