There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Green mimosas i think yes
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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