Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize