I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
