It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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