My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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