I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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