When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
