I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We have started to decorate penises.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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