He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
