hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
