Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
