well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
