i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
