Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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