it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
