dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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