ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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