"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
