and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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