My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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