I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
