found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
