"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
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Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
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We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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