you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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