yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
