Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize